Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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