your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
