Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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