Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
