So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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