still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
