I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
