ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He better not be in your backpack
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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