she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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