is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
