yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
