Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
