you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
