i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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