did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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