living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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