Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize