I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
