I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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