Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
be right there i have to get my cape
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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