it wasn't lemon gatorade
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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