Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
