i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
