I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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