i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
