Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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