Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
