My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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