I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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