if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
