I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
