You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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