Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
