are you still at the devil's house?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm too high and old for this...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
