Plan B is the new Plan A
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
