matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love you.
Bad choice
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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