I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
