that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
