Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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