Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
