and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize