Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
