Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
