They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
