hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
