YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
