It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
