I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
