My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize