How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
