Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize