No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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