my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize