I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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