1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
