i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
