I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
