Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
